We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
