The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
