smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
