I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
