forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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