Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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