Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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