She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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