i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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