**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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