We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
