butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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