Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
