I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
