They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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