Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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