She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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