i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
