so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
