i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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