Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
