In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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