So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
