If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
