Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
