my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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