I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
