have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
