You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
