this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
