He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My penis needs a shock collar
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
