My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
