then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
As shirtless as possible
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
