They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
