found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
