dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize