I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I will be naked everywhere
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
