I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
