I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
