dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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