Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
