i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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