We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
