a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
