So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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