she woke up with a sticky ear
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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