Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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