So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
