Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
