I don't remember. Are we still dating?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
