Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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