yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
