well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
bring money and cleavage
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
