When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I am spending my child support on dildos
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
