In the future we'll all be gay
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
