He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
