"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
