your parents love me but you hate me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize