First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
