If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
