Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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