I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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