HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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