If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
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At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
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Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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