She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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