Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
