thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
