Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
