Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
